I am feeling contended in many ways.

Another week has gone by, praise the Lord!

I feel especially encouraged and motivated this week because of the amazing things our 2013 cohort fellows has been doing (: Their posts on Facebook are always so honest and real, and the things they did in their schools, and also their small successes and the impact they are already making in their schools, are all amazing things ! I really look forward to read about them every day.

Knowing that I am only going to teach both of my Form 4 classes for a short period of time was a suprising and disappointing news. I have already fallen for students from both classes and it is difficult to take that away. It is not because they are incredibly lovely in class. It is actually the opposite. There are so many unresolved issues that I wish I could resolve in these classes before I leave. And also names that I have yet to memorize to match those lovely faces.

One particular class this year is very difficult. We started off the wrong foot and our relationship spiralled down over the weeks. I am proud of myself because I have never doubted my students' potential to achieve more than they are achieving now academic-wise but I wish I could say the same about my faith towards the progress of their behaviour and attitude. I guess I never really give my students the chance to prove their worth, behaviour and attitude wise. Whenever a student shows actions and gestures that are disrespectful or defiant, my blood boils and that usually leads to cornering the child and bombarding him/ her with my ideals and why they should live up to my ideals.

Which is unfair, definitely. But I will continue to work on that. Maybe not by intimidating my kids but trying to understand where they came from and work on it from there (it is so much easier said than done of course, like always). And that's one of the many reasons I am reluctant to let go of these classes.

As I was pondering about all my difficult classes this year I remember how I have asked God, particularly and specifically, to make it difficult for me this year, so that there would be  more for me to contribute, the more to progress. And He has granted my wish.