And more about being a leader in my classroom.

I felt foolish when I sat down in front of the classroom yesterday morning by 9:20am. I went on and on about being a leader in my classroom and how important it is in my blog and a few friends who were still willing to listen to my rambings.

Yesterday when I sat down, it dawned on me so suddenly that I could not be a leader to my students because I have no idea how to do that. And I do not think that it is possible a task at all. I do not know what to say to them, I do not know what to do with them.

The realization came loud and clear with this background lights and sounds and a booming but delicate (try imagine that) voice saying that: Your Lord will be the leader in your classroom.

That's it! I could not be a leader. If all I think about is myself and all the things I self-centeredly wanted for my kids. No. Put your Lord in the first place, and all things will go right.

And right then, amidst the chaos and the messiness I invited Him to work miracles in my classroom and to transform my kids by touching them in no ways that are humanly-possible.

And then I waited (trying to have faith but is struggling) and the next thing I knew, one boy stood up (I was telling myself: Oh no, you better not ask for a toilet break) and went to the front of the classroom and picked up a piece of paper that I casted onto the floor.

Then, a cascade of rumblings of chairs and students moving around the classroom picking up notice board charts and papers and decorations sounded. They put the decorations back and re-distributed our worksheets. A few came to me to apologize. One boy tried to sing a song about how 1USM was sorry and another one gave me her worksheet asking me how to answer a certain question.

I was moved but I was unmoved, yet.

I do not know what I was waiting for but I knew that I was waiting for something big to happen.

Because, this situation in the classroom, it cannot go on.

Today, I checked my classroom after school and the floo was clean with the exception of two pieces of papers lying on the floor. This has never happened before. Clean floor? No way!

But I am still waiting.

Dear Lord, please work with my children.